Relationship, and Daughter-ship with God

The other day, as I was having a shower, I had a revelation.

I was thinking about my relationship with God. How I have so badly been wanting to be closer to Him. The night before, a friend of mine had been telling me about his close relationship with God and it made me desire the closeness that he had so much. The kind where you understand what it's like to have Him by your side like... ALL THE TIME. To hear Him in whatever you are doing and wherever you are. Literally by your side as a best friend all the time. Doing stuff with Him.

All the time.

I was kind of jealous. :D

I was thinking about my perspective of God. Do I see Him mostly as a King, a judge, a father, my creator.... what? Well, He is every one of those things, but even though I "know" He is, there are still some things that I find I see Him as more than others. For instance, I think I honestly think of Him mostly as a judge and a king and less of a Father and other things. I think that's why my relationship with Him isn't as intimate.  But the truth is, is that seeing Him as a Father is actually very important as well.

When you look at what Jesus refers to Him, it's mostly as "the Father", "our Father" etc. And Jesus normally refers to himself, as a son. "The Son of Man", "The Son of God" etc. Not only that, but when he teaches his disciples how to pray, he tells them to call God "our Father". When we talk to Him, we shouldn't address Him as a king, or even God or anything. Jesus said to say; "Our Father".

Being a Christian means to "be like Christ". Well, there are many things that Jesus did that we should strive for, but what about his identity as a person? I want to do a lot of the things that he did/does, but I also need to know what my identity is. If Jesus knew himself as a son of 'our Father', then that is something that I should reflect too. Being a Christian means being a son or daughter.

That's really exciting for me. :D

However, we have a choice (love means giving freewill etc., na?). I mean obviously, if God says you are His son/daughter then nothing could ever change that, despite what you do, or what you don't do... "nothing can separate you from the love of God". Nothing could ever happen for Him to love you any less. Our choice, of course is if we accept that love, but also if we choose to LIVE as a son/daughter. Jesus made that choice.

But what does that look like? I for one am on a journey of discovering more of how that looks. Lately, like I said, I have been learning about getting closer to God, but now I realize that it's combined with understanding what it looks like for me to be His daughter.
..
I thought I knew what a daughter was because I am one to my dad on earth. That's true, but it just recently occurred to me that perhaps my relationship with my dad isn't the best example. That what if being a daughter to GOD is so much more... incredible? What would it be like to be a daughter to a Father who is, well... PERFECT? But then again, if I'm not allowing myself to be a daughter to me father on earth, then no wonder it's difficult to see myself as a daughter to my Father in heaven...

Hmm...

For so long I have been orphaning (if that's a word, lol) myself from God and not realizing. I make myself an orphan when I choose to live independently from God. When I come up with other things in my life to 'take care of me'. Afterall, if you have enough security on your own, then why would you need God? When I choose to depend on God and do things 'His way', and doing stuff with Him instead of doing it by myself, then I am allowing myself to be Fathered. I am recognizing that He is, in fact, much greater than I am... He is God, afterall. ;)

But this takes humility. It means that I have to confess that I don't have it all together... no matter how much I may try to act like it.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll be learning so much more during this time...