Relationship, and Daughter-ship with God

The other day, as I was having a shower, I had a revelation.

I was thinking about my relationship with God. How I have so badly been wanting to be closer to Him. The night before, a friend of mine had been telling me about his close relationship with God and it made me desire the closeness that he had so much. The kind where you understand what it's like to have Him by your side like... ALL THE TIME. To hear Him in whatever you are doing and wherever you are. Literally by your side as a best friend all the time. Doing stuff with Him.

All the time.

I was kind of jealous. :D

I was thinking about my perspective of God. Do I see Him mostly as a King, a judge, a father, my creator.... what? Well, He is every one of those things, but even though I "know" He is, there are still some things that I find I see Him as more than others. For instance, I think I honestly think of Him mostly as a judge and a king and less of a Father and other things. I think that's why my relationship with Him isn't as intimate.  But the truth is, is that seeing Him as a Father is actually very important as well.

When you look at what Jesus refers to Him, it's mostly as "the Father", "our Father" etc. And Jesus normally refers to himself, as a son. "The Son of Man", "The Son of God" etc. Not only that, but when he teaches his disciples how to pray, he tells them to call God "our Father". When we talk to Him, we shouldn't address Him as a king, or even God or anything. Jesus said to say; "Our Father".

Being a Christian means to "be like Christ". Well, there are many things that Jesus did that we should strive for, but what about his identity as a person? I want to do a lot of the things that he did/does, but I also need to know what my identity is. If Jesus knew himself as a son of 'our Father', then that is something that I should reflect too. Being a Christian means being a son or daughter.

That's really exciting for me. :D

However, we have a choice (love means giving freewill etc., na?). I mean obviously, if God says you are His son/daughter then nothing could ever change that, despite what you do, or what you don't do... "nothing can separate you from the love of God". Nothing could ever happen for Him to love you any less. Our choice, of course is if we accept that love, but also if we choose to LIVE as a son/daughter. Jesus made that choice.

But what does that look like? I for one am on a journey of discovering more of how that looks. Lately, like I said, I have been learning about getting closer to God, but now I realize that it's combined with understanding what it looks like for me to be His daughter.
..
I thought I knew what a daughter was because I am one to my dad on earth. That's true, but it just recently occurred to me that perhaps my relationship with my dad isn't the best example. That what if being a daughter to GOD is so much more... incredible? What would it be like to be a daughter to a Father who is, well... PERFECT? But then again, if I'm not allowing myself to be a daughter to me father on earth, then no wonder it's difficult to see myself as a daughter to my Father in heaven...

Hmm...

For so long I have been orphaning (if that's a word, lol) myself from God and not realizing. I make myself an orphan when I choose to live independently from God. When I come up with other things in my life to 'take care of me'. Afterall, if you have enough security on your own, then why would you need God? When I choose to depend on God and do things 'His way', and doing stuff with Him instead of doing it by myself, then I am allowing myself to be Fathered. I am recognizing that He is, in fact, much greater than I am... He is God, afterall. ;)

But this takes humility. It means that I have to confess that I don't have it all together... no matter how much I may try to act like it.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll be learning so much more during this time...

Letters from India

Just wanted to let ya'll know that I will have a separate blog for updating you guys on my adventures in India.  Subscribe to it if you want to make sure that you don't miss out on ANY of the awesomeness coming from my journeys and learnings. :D

I'M GOING TO INDIA!!

Hey, everyone!!

Guess what. I'm officially going to India this September! God's been telling me to go there and now it's been confirmed with an acceptance letter from the organization.

With who?
I'm going with an organization called Youth With A Mission (YWAM), who's main motive is to know God and make Him known. They focus on giving opportunities for young people to demonstrate Jesus' love to the whole world. They operate in more than 1000 locations in over 180 countries. If you'd like more info on YWAM, go here.

How long?
Nine months all together (crazy, I know). The first five months will be the lecture phase where we'll learn about God and receive relationship based mentorship for different areas. Then there will be two months of outreach (March and April) where we will split in teams and travel to different locations, showing God's care and love to those in need, and practicing what we have learned. Then in May, we'll come back to finish the school, and the projects for the creative tracks (more on the creative aspect below). In June we'll have the grand finale (graduation), and then I'll come back!

Why?
Ever since I've known Jesus, He has put a burning passion in my heart to share His love, goodness, and salvation with everyone. I've always felt called to be a 'missionary' (if that's what you want to call it) of some sort. So when I graduated last spring, I asked God where He wanted me to go, and after much seeking and learning to hear His voice, He has told me to go to this school. I know that may sound pretty weird to 'hear God's voice', but when I look back on it, I do not see how it could logically have been anyone or anything else.

It has a music focus!
It's a prophetic school of the arts with various creative tracks. I, of course, will be in the music track, where I will learn to listen to God's voice, create together with Him and communicate it through the powerful tool of the arts! Through various assignments I'll learn to write, produce, and arrange songs. I'd like to bring my cello with me, but if that turns out to be too much of a hassle, I'll bring my guitar (which is much easier to carry around). If you'd like more info on this specific school, go here.

How you can help:
- Please pray! Seriously, that's the biggest thing you could possibly do to help. I will have to totally rely on my heavenly Father (God) and cannot afford to let anything get in the way of that. I'll be blogging to keep you updated on specific things to pray for, but right now please pray that all the preparation will go smoothly, and that the rest of the needed finances (approximately $2,000) will come in before I leave. God told me to go, so He will provide the way. :D
- Also, please ask God about helping me out financially (and honestly, if it's a small amount, it still helps). If you would like to, please send it by Sept. 22, and let me know if you need my mailing address. But please know that it's your prayer and love support that's the biggest help! :)

Thank you!
And Jesus' peace and love be with you!
~ Zoe

"So that I can show My goodness."

The other day, I was going for a walk in the gorgeous weather, when I was taken aback by the beauty all around me. I couldn't believe how richly BLUE the sky was, or how vibrantly GREEN the grass was.... or how intricate the heads of grass were.

Yes, these are pretty normal things, and things that I see every day, but today it was different for some reason. It was like a veil was lifted from over my eyes, revealing a world that I recognized, but never with such clarity and overwhelming amazement. It was kind of like a baby being outside for the first time. Or a child delighted and curious about every site, feeling, and smell that is outside. Everything was so AMAZING. I don't think we take enough time to really SEE all that we take for granted...

So as I was walking along, gaping at everything, I asked God;

"God, why did you do this? Why did you decide to make this all so detailed and intricate and vibrant and beautiful? "

And He said; "So that I can show My goodness." (It was unmistakably God. It was so clear and definitely not something that I had concocted in my head.)

That amazed me. (...And I thought I had had enough amazement for the day! ;))

Once I was over the realization of how TRUE that was, I asked God;

"But, what about the bad things in nature?"

And He said; "Zoe, that's not Me. That's sin."

...

Man, it took me forever for that all to sink in. It was one of those things that is so TRUE that you feel it gradually sink into your soul, and then stays planted there never to be uprooted. Maybe after a while, it'll get buried somewhat, but it's THERE nevertheless.

God is not some old man up in the clouds looking down on us, judging our ever move with a frown. Yes, He is to be revered... but He is also to be LOVED. And so He wants to show that He is worthy of our love and that we have a reason to love Him. God is good... And He shows that goodness so that we can love him at our own choice. 

I love you, Father!! :D

Soaked and Overflowing

Yes, I am bringing LIFE back to this blog!! :D

Last night I had an INCREDIBLE time with some friends. I'm telling you, it was friendship in it's fullest glory; sharing, talking about what God is showing us, talking about God in general, reading His word, PRAYING, listening to Him, laughing, and just...... being. Hanging out, but with God THERE.

I really wanted to get together with some people, just to hear what God might be saying to each of us. And to encourage each other. God designed us to be in companionship with fellow believers, so that we can help each other out, but He also uses someone else to say something to you. It's just like how He designed the human body... with a head, hands, feet etc. When all the parts are together, then the body works wonderfully. So, when all the different parts of the Church's body (people) are working together, then it's complete! (And we can bring God's kingdom!)

"Truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” - Jesus (Matthew 18:19-20)


I saw this ^ happen last night!! We specifically prayed for God's presence to come, for us to hear His voice, and for Him to lead our discussion. AND HE DID! He was THERE, and He SPOKE to me (by giving me a picture - and I don't normally get pictures like that! It was incredible!), and He LEAD OUR DISCUSSION! Looking back on it now I'm realizing how everything tied together so perfectly. The random passages of the Bible we read and what we were talking about really clicked together. I really felt that God was leading it all. Which is the whole point.


Haha, it's funny because I was actually kinda nervous about it all beforehand. I hadn't really done anything like this before and I really wanted God to lead it all. To be honest, I was afraid that we wouldn't be able to hear Him. But we prayed for God to open our hearts to hear Him, and HE DID! :D


Anyways, this morning, as I was biking back from the neighbour's farm (I'm taking care of it this weekend - so much fun! :D), I was thinking about some of the things we talked about last night (there was so much, that I need a while to process it all!). Then I got a sort of revelation!! 


I was thinking about what we were discussing about our motives behind being good. Do we want to do what is right so that we can feel good about ourselves? Do we want to be righteous, or SELF-righteous? If those are our motives than we will just become prideful. However, it is important that we try to be good/do good things, but we should only do it if our motives are right. So what is the right motive? To honour God... to obey Him when He says to "Love your neighbour as yourself" and to "Love the Lord with ALL your heart, mind, strength and heart."


So here's the sort of revelation I got when biking in the rain: 
Honouring God is different than trying to please Him. Nothing we can do can make Him any more pleased with us than He is. Nor is there anything we can do to EARN His grace, favour, and love. We never deserved His goodness towards us in the first place, and we can't even BEGIN to deserve such amazing gifts that He gives us. But (to quote Reliant K) "The beauty of grace, is that it isn't fair." He still has grace, and He still is pleased with us. The picture I had was exactly that; Jesus was laughing and playing with us, like we were all his little children. He smiles with us. He is delighted in us (no matter how messy we are). haha!!! That's so cool. :) But it's neat because I didn't think of this. It was God showing me....


So I don't think honouring God is about pleasing Him, but more about THANKING Him! When someone does so much good to you as Jesus does, than one can't help but praise Him. And when you spend time with Him, in His presence, then His goodness fills you up! Till you're OVERFLOWING, that it's just NATURAL for good things to come out of you. When you spend time with God, then His Spirit fills you up, and SEEPS THROUGH. Then the good things you do isn't you anymore, but GOD!! Then naturally, all the glory goes to Him... because you know it wasn't you! Isn't that incredible?


Haha. I love that whole concept. I was laughing as I was getting SOAKED during my bike-ride.  


Sooo....
> Being 'good' means to honour God 
> Honouring God means showing gratitude to Him, (thanking and praising Him)
> We show gratitude to Him BECAUSE of all that He does! 
> And we become open to the good that God does when we SPEND TIME with Him. 

Behind Your Eyes

It's so easy to hide one's pain, hurt, and tears when going through a hard time. Often times when I'm struggling, I try to cover it up and look strong. I'll put this image up of myself towards the people around me and even towards God. I'll think that I'm strong enough on my own, and that I don't need to ask God for help or seek encouragement and prayer from others. This, of course, only makes the problem worse.


So one day I was sitting and thinking about stuff.... and then started writing this song. It was like God was talking to me through my pen. It's kind of hard to explain, but I was just writing away, and then I looked again at what I was writing and was like 'woah. That's totally God saying this!' It was as if it wasn't my words, but His. He was telling me that He sees everything in me. There is nothing I can hide from Him, so it's silly for me to try to. The beautiful thing about it though, is that no matter how much dirtiness He may see in me, He doesn't love me less. No matter how much I fail, I am still the 'apple of His eye'.


God sees your heart. He knows perfectly well how hard life can get. And if you mess up in serving Him or living for Him, He understands and is still delighted in your willing heart. Keep your heart open to Him... :)

"Your weakness
Is where My grace is strong.

Your messes

Are not too much for me."

"Rosy Cheeks, Button Noses."

Lately, the poetry that I've been writing has been totally free verse, but this time I made a point of keeping a rhythm and rhyme scheme. I thought that I should force myself to do that more and I found that I like it more than I thought I would. Yes, it does give you boundaries, but they're the sort that help you to be more creative, I found. Sometimes when I write free verse, it's almost too much freedom; I become overwhelmed with possibilities. But if I have a certain amount of restriction, then I learn to work within that.... creatively! 

The idea of this poem was inspired by the children that I work with. I have a nanny/housecleaning job for a family with lots of kids, and I often find myself taking care of (and playing with! :D) the four youngest ones (ages 1 - 6). There is something so precious about that age group; they are so simple, creative, content, and.... happy! Even though they can be mischievous, there is still a sense of purity and innocence about them that is unique to that young of an age. I've been working with these kids for quite a few years, so I have seen their not-so-good sides a lot, and have gotten tired out at times, but those things never seem to override the joy that I get from caring for them. And they teach me SO much about how I should be in many ways. Especially in the trusting aspect. :)

Enjoy! =)

Rosy Cheeks, Button Noses

By Zoe N.

Rosy cheeks,

Button noses;

Dancing feet

To laughter’s song.

Dirty hands,

And hunts for bugs;

Made up lands,

And soup from mud.

Life’s so free

When just a child;

All can be

A world of joy.

They don’t hear

A word you say,

As impure

Or devious.

Quick t’forgive,

With hearts to please;

Joy to live,

And quite content.

It makes sense

Our Lord asks for

Innocence

Like a child.

All through life,

A childe-like heart,

I do strive

To always have.

I’m at ease

In trusting Him;

All my needs

He meets and more.

As a dad

Sees his children,

Just like that

Does He see me.

Life’s so free

When trusting Him;

All can be

A world of joy.

Rosy cheeks,

Button noses;

Dancing feet

To laughter’s song.